Some people double date not because they have chosen to be doing so; not because they just made up their minds one day to double date; but some of them who double date are pushed into doing so by conditions surrounding their love life. You will find out in this article nine (9) commonest reasons why some people date in a relationship. Read more to learn more…
Please, kindly note that the above photo is used for the purpose of illustration only…
I welcome you in the loveliest way to this wonderful platform where Legends are nurtured with the right Trends. Double dating is something that lots of young people are guilty of, including my own self. I may not be guilty of it now, but may have been in the past or might be in future, likewise others.
Some people double date not because they have chosen to be doing so; not because they just made up their minds one day to double date; but some of them who double date are pushed into doing so by conditions surrounding their love life.
I may not be able to talk about all the possible conditions in this write-up, but I will definitely talk about the common(est) ones: those ones that are mostly given as reasons. Don’t forget that I have also fallen in love with a girl who started dating another guy two years into our three years of relationship.
On noticing that, I questioned her and she opened up to me on the reason why she began to double date. The girl in question was my first love and that’s how I let go of her because the reason (condition) she gave me was not in my favour; so I had to let go of her, and that’s how I lost my first girlfriend.
So, do not think that I just woke up one day and began to write about relationship, love life, and sexual matters. I have not only experienced the good and bad sides of relationship, but have also handled lots of relationship issues that people brought to me.
In this article, I will also try to drop some of my true-life/direct experiences where necessary as I unveil to you the commonest reasons why people double date in relationship.
I took time to write and proofread this article because I really need it to be of high quality content and information. I am hopeful that this article will be among other numerous articles that are really doing pretty well on this site when it comes to love, sexual matters, and relationship issues.
Relax and read calmly through each reason as contained in this article.
1) DISTANCE BARRIER
Distance barrier has being one of the commonest reasons why lots of double-dating cases are happening these days. Lovers who live far away from each other may at some point in their relationship begin to indulge into double-dating so as to fill the lacuna the distance barrier may have created between them (the two lovers in question).
This was really the reason why my first relationship ended after three good years; it was really a bad and sad experience and such experience can make a guy to have bad mindset or understanding when it comes to relationship. I entered into the relationship in 2010 but we separated in 2013.
Actually it was not my own fault, but that of the girl; at certain point in our relationship she began to double date with another guy without me knowing.
I began to notice it at a point when the attention she was giving me began to depreciate and her attitudes (especially when it comes to caring) towards me began to diminish; that was when I compelled her to open up to me on what the matter was, and she did.
When I asked my first ex-girlfriend while she began to double date two years into our relationship, and her only excuse was that of distance barrier.
According to her, she loves seeing her lover as often as possible and she then made up her mind to get someone closer to her than myself because we were actually staying in different States (I was in Anambra State, while she was in Abia State).
This is also the case with people who are in love with each other, but after one has traveled out to another place far away from the other, one of them may begin to double date.
So, I believe this is among the commonest reasons people double date in relationships. Sometimes, distance barrier coupled with poor communication among the partners can speed up or trigger double-dating in relationship.
2) FINANCIAL CHALLENGES
Obviously, this reason is mainly on the side of girls in a relationship. Some girls tend to begin to double date when their boyfriends begin to experience financial challenges which will consequently reduce their spending on the girls.
The probability of this to happen is often higher when the financial challenges prolong and the girl happened to be the type who doesn’t desire to endure till everything gets back to normal for the guy.
Some girls are impatient and won’t even care to double date when their current boos are broke or stop spending on them; without knowing that true love is far away from money.
I know that money and spending are okay in a relationship, but it should not be enough reason why a girl should go on to double date when her guy is ‘broke’.
It should be better for the girl to end the relationship if she can’t wait and encourage the guy in moments of financial challenges. Just end up with him and go on to get another boyfriend if you can’t truly be by his side.
On the other hand, if a guy is extremely broke and he is not doing anything about it; his girlfriend might begin to double date. But I am only advising the girlfriend to quit from the relationship than double dating.
Actually, I have not had any personal experience on this reason; I make sure I tell girls I come across the truth about my financial status. I don’t lie about my financial strength so as to win a girl’s heart.
Instead I would lie to girl that I am damn rich so as to win her heart, I would rather hide my financial capability so as not let her know how much I am worth and to see if she can accept me not knowing how rich I am.
3) LACK OF ATTENTION FROM ONE’S FIRST LOVE
Yes, lack of attention from one’s first love can lead to double-dating. Please, when I say ‘first love’, I mean the person you are dating before you began to double date; that is in a case where the person in question is already double dating. Hope you got my diction? I believe you did. Let me continue…
When all of a sudden you begin to notice that your once cherished love of life is no more giving you enough attention, you may resort to double dating so as to make up with the sad feelings his lack of attention may be causing in you.
Let us not forget that one of the reasons why someone you love may start reducing his/her attention on you may be because he/she has gotten someone else or is planning to let go of you (that is, break-up may ensue it).
In such a case, you that the attention is no more coming to as it used to be may decide to get over it by double dating with someone else.
Materialism is another reason lots of people double date in relationship, most especially girls. Please my dear girls, don’t feel bad that I always push it towards you guys in this article. I am just saying the reality.
A girl who is materialistic in nature on meeting a guy may think that the guy is the type that will be spending on her as she desires, but on realizing that the guy in question isn’t condoning materialistic lifestyle (as the girl thought initially) may have no other choice than to resort to double dating.
For me, I so much dislike girls who are so materialistic in nature, especially if the girls are totally dependent on others. Nobody is born to be spending on each other when it comes to relationship.
I still don’t understand why most girls have acceded to the mindset that it is the responsibility of a guy to be spending on his girlfriend. That is a single story, I think; and girls need to be edified on this.
But if the girl can be able to provide for herself and still be materialistic, then good and fine for her. The issue of double dating in a relationship due to materialism arises when either of the partners refuses to conform to the other’s materialistic demanding.
For me, I don’t even look back before letting go of such a girl in my love life.
5) PEOPLE’S ADVICE
If you don’t know it, please know it now that other people’s advice can contribute to someone’s double dating lifestyle.
Your best friend’s advice concerning your relationship with a particular person can trigger the desire of double dating in you, especially if the person is someone you so much love to confide in, share your relationship issues with, and take advice from.
This is why you have to be careful with the kind of person you confide in on matters concerning your loved life.
On telling such person of an issue or issues you are having with your lover, he/she may end up advising you to start double dating in retaliation or in order to get over whatever the person has done to you.
I am not saying that you should not have a confidant on matters concerning your loved life, but I will advise you to be careful with whomever you are sharing your challenges in relationship with.
Some people are only relieved of their bad feelings due to issues they are having with their partners when they have shared those issues with someone else.
Sometimes, you may not even need to share your relationship issues with some people; some persons can just come from nowhere and begin to tell you lots of convincing but confusing reasons why you should start to double date.
Someone can tell you that your partner is cheating on you with other girls, and the only way to pay him back is to start double dating.
I have encountered lots of clients who had experienced such people, and some of them ended up marring their love life because they, instead of finding out the truth, went on to start double dating, only for them to realize that their partners weren’t guilty of cheating on them, but it was too late by the time of their realization.
Indecisiveness can lead to double dating; when someone is unable to decide what he/she wants or who exactly he/she needs to be with can result to double dating.
Some people who find themselves double dating are doing so all because of their indecisiveness. Tell me how a girl would not be double dating when she does not know exactly the kind of man/guy she desires.
If she sees this one today, she would be interested in him; when she meets or sees another man/guy, she would still be attracted to him. That’s indecisiveness.
On the other hand, boys who are indecisive with respect to the kind of girl he really desires to be with won’t stay without double dating. Such a guy would be attracted to many girls; hence he would end up double dating.
So, once someone cannot categorically say what he/she needs in a person he/she wants to date, he/she would definitely be double dating.
This is because the person would be confused and would be attracted to different persons within a given period of time.
Also indecisiveness can make a relationship to be purposeless; when a relationship has no purpose, then the partners are liable to double date with time.
This why I don’t advise people to fall in love without having purpose; when I mean purpose, I am referring to good one(s).
Don’t just fall in love without defining the purpose of the relationship and making sure that your partner also has same purpose(s) in view.
7) UNCOMFORTABLE WITH ONE’S PARTNER (MAYBE OWING TO NASTY ATTITUDES FROM THE PERSON)
Once someone is uncomfortable with his/her partner’s attitudes, and his/her beimg uncomfortable prolongs, he/she will definitely begin to lose interest in the partner and may end up double dating if only the relationship was not officially ended.
I don’t think there is anyone who would feel happy dating someone he/she isn’t comfortable with, just only the person, without double dating.
A girl may still be pretending to be in love with a guy she is no more comfortable with maybe because of the benefits she may be getting from the guy which may include financial assistance among others; but the girl in question may be dating someone else whom she is more comfortable with.
So I blame it on the negative attitudes of some partners; that’s why it is important to observe your partner to find out how he/she feels about your attitudes.
Give your partner room to tell you how he/she feels about your characters. But if you don’t let your partner to express how he/she feels about you and your attitudes, then your partner may resort to double dating just to make up.
8) SOMEONE BEEN FADE-UP WITH HIS/HER FIRST LOVE (BUT DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO LET THE PERSON KNOW)
Yes, this is another reason why people do double date. At times, you may be fade-up with your affair with someone, maybe the feelings you have for the person isn’t strong any longer just as it was initially, and you may not know how to voice it out to the person, maybe because you feel the person may feel bad, betrayed, and heartbroken.
In such conditions, a girl or a boy may end up dating another person without his/her initial lover knowing. I think this was the reason during my second relationship: the young girl was no more showing concern for me, no more showing interest in the relationship.
And I was also having feelings that she was about getting married. Being good in handling such issues, I did my best to bring her back but her mind had already gone to wherever or whoever she had found a new love.
So, I let go of her and move on with my life. Few weeks later I heard that she was getting married; but by then I was no more feeling anything for her and had let go of her so as to focus on my life and destiny.
Girls mostly are that way, they would lose interest in a boy, yet she won’t even tell him and the boy if he is not observant may not find out.
But for someone like myself, just give me days and I shall find out that there is something wrong somewhere, so long as I also still feel something strong for the girl.
I am not leaving out guys in this case, though theirs is quite different. A guy may not be feeling anything anymore for a girl, he may stop keeping in touch with her, but whenever he feels like having sex and the girl happens to be the only one available; bet me he is going to show her love (though in pretence) just to enjoy the wet soft pie in between the girl’s legs.
So, both boys and girls are guilty of this reason. Listen, someone might be the cause why his/her partner has lost interest in him/her. Whatever the cause may be, the truth is that it can lead to double dating or even break-up.
9) UNFORGETTABLE SEXUAL ESCAPADES WITH A NEW PERSON
There is this notion that a girl (for instance) will never or will hardly let go of a boy who has sexually satisfied her to apogee.
There is also a belief that once a girl really enjoys sex with a guy (that is, the boy/man gave her exactly what her sexual urge needs), that the girl won’t easily let go of the boy and she may eventually end up dating him not minding if he has a lover and not minding the fact that she (the girl) may have a lover.
This is also seen in males, after a man’s sexual encounter with a girl (maybe a girl who is outstandingly good and lively on bed and had wowed him on their first sexual encounter), the man may still desire to have some more, and it may continue going on and on eventually leading to double dating in a case where the man in question has another lover.
This is true, I have heard and handled issues where a girl was accusing her female friend/roommate of snashing her man from her (the accuser) and when you go into the details of the whole story, you would actually discover that the “snasher” (the accused) may have used sex as a tool to covet the man in question.
Some persons double date all because they are still searching for that person who can give them a sexual gratification that will wow them, and they won’t stop searching until they have gotten one, not knowing that sexual gratification is not actually the most vital thing for a successful relationship.
So, you can actually agree with me that this factor or reason counts very much. Most boys who double date are mainly based on sexual affairs; while most girls are based on material things.
A girl may be dating many boys/men, eating their money; she may even be having sex with them, but there may be this one guy she loves sleeping with the most, even without the guy demanding sex from her, she would even be the one to demand it from him, and without even requesting a dime from the guy, to the ambit that she would even use the money she got from other guys to be taking care of this very guy all because she enjoys sex with him more than any other guys.
Thanks for taking time to read through this article. Feel free to drop your questions, opinions, and/or contributions using the comment box.
It will be awesome knowing that you shared this post with others.
Asiegbu, Chinonso Emmanuel
[NDJP; TheInspirational Parrot; The Motivational Pilot-1]
E-mail: [email protected]
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